. Turner's North Carolina almanac : pour l'année de notre Seigneur ... . un miracle?* Johnny—Yesm. Mère dit ef yewdo ketch le nouveau parson ce sera l'amiracle. Au zoo. Tommy—dire, monsieur, est-ce un ours en croix? Gardien—Nan, sonny; qui a jamais entendu parler d'un ours croisé? Tommy (supérieur)—J'ai; ils ont chanté, hier, à l'école du dimanche, au sujet d'un ours de Cross ID consectionné! L'abatteuse thets alius telllin ce qu'une femme gagnée-derful sa femme est généralement la fumée de noisette dans la cuisine. Je suppose, dit-elle, avec un bon sarcasme, vous étiez assis avec un ami? Non, cher, répondit-il trustement, Iwas settin em up

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. Turner's North Carolina almanac : for the year of our Lord ... . a miracle?* Johnny—Yesm. Mother says ef yewdont ketch the new parson it will be amiracle. At the Zoo. Tommy—Say, mister, is this a cross-eyedbear? Keeper—Nope, sonny; who ever heard ofa cross-eyed bear? Tommy (superiorly)—I have; they sang, yesterday, at Sunday school, about a con-secrated cross Id bear! The feller thets alius tellin what a won-derful woman his wife is generally hazntsmoke in th kitchen. I suppose, she said, with fine sarcasm, you were sitting up with a friend? No, mdear, replied he truthfully, Iwas settin em up to a friend. Daughter—But he is so full of absurdideals. Mother—Never mind that, dear, yourfather was just the same before I marriedbim. Magistrate—What! Do you mean tosay your husband struck you, and he thatphysical wreck? Mrs. Maloney—Yes, yer Honor; but hes•nly been a physical wreck since he struck Would you marry a woman who hadsued another man for breach of promise? Well, it would depend largely on howmuch the jury had compelled him to pay. Garden Calendar for October. Beets planted last month cultivate. Cabbage trana*plant, also Cauliflower and Broccoli. Turnips hoe.Onions sown last month will be ready to transplant;small bulb onions set out. Spinach for winter usesow. Celery earth up in dry weather and transplantfrom the bed for further supplies, also Lettuce forspring use. Radishes sow as required. Asparaguabeds dress; strawberries transplant. Take up Pota-toes and other roots, secure them from wet andfrost; collect Pumpkins and Winter Squashes, andexpose them to the winds and air on a dry bench be-fore they are stowed away. FARM NOTES. Autumn Leaves.—Gather and save au-tumn leaves, and make comfortable bedswith them for your stock, after which theywill add amazingly to your compost heap. Plapt Trees.—Before it gets too late, everyone who has not already a good orchard, should plant a few fruit trees. Leaving outof question the pleasure to be derive

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